I hate exclamation points.
They're pushy and agressive and overbearing and I cannot take any sentence they end seriously. Even in dialogue, exclamation points are hard for me to read. Why? I think your words should speak for themselves. Here's what I mean:
"He was dead! His head was hanging limply off to the side, his neck was a concerning shade of violet, and this time, he would never come back to life!"
Now I realize I haven't provided much context, but even so, do you not read this excerpt with even the slightest but of sarcasm or exaggeration, or even mockery in your head? This character sounds incompetent. Alternatively, when we replace the exclamation points with periods, the tone of the piece changes dramatically:
"He was dead. His head was hanging limply off to the side, his neck was a concerning shade of violet, and this time, he would never come back to life."
Again, I haven't added any context to this, but isn't the second piece much easier to read in seriousness than the first? The second piece has depth and weight while the first piece is flat and lacks honesty. You know that voice you use when you're talking to a four year old? The one you use to make sure everything you say will be fully understood, where you use the simplest words in your vocabulary? That's the tone I read exclamation points with.The first piece isn't completely useless, though, there is just an artificial tone to it that needs to be acknowledged. There are still two very good places for exclamation points to harbor:
I. Children's Books
II. Literary Hell.
Seriously. Don't laugh at your own jokes. (Alternatively "Don't laugh at your own jokes!") There is an immensely rare time and place to use exclamation points, and it definitely isn't at the end of every important sentence you write. Your reader doesn't to be yelled or preached at. He should be able to feel the weight of your words without you pushing them at him.
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Oh also greetings from my five-month hiatus.
